big jazz

people like big shit. they like a fat 32oz steak with factory made grill marks from applebees, err "neighborhood grill", they shove it down their fat self and wash it down with an oreo ice cream butter extra huge concrete fat shake while dipping their fried mystery items in a pot of bacon ranch dressing. There is no such thing as a size small. When I was a kid we had small, medium, and large. Small was small, large was not too exceptional. Today folks tote their 364 ounce in and out of gas stations and miserably shuffle over to the fountain while rubbing their tounge across their rotten teeth to gas up the fat machine. I don't even know of a place where you can get a "small" anything. Clever marketing folks like to disguise the huge portion under titles such as venti or largo, what the fuck is largo? Others bust it straight, supersize that mofo. Anyway, the wifey and I took a drive this weekend and we discovered some big stuff. (see gina above) We stumbled across the worlds biggest rocking chair. A chair that is way venti and about as exciting as a dead ladybug in your sink. On our way home I went into to an uncontrolable seizure as we passed this house and couldn't help slamming on the brakes and throwin the car in the driveway across the street to grab a snap.
I am assuming a hidden journal somewhere within this home has a post titled "my parents are whackjobs and I want to die". Either this is evidence of an actual biblical shipwreck or their father owns the local lumberyard. I can't imagine the conversation that led up to the placement of this bad boy. Should we put it in the back yard? Nah, I say we mount her at a solid 30 degrees to the highway and plant her right out front. What the fuck does a kid do in something like this, lay in the belly of the ship and eat hay with the zebras? Oh, eins and dreist scared this opossum up into a tree, that'll learn him, quit eatin out the compost pile.

the house of the moment

on a near weekly basis my soul sinks in envy of a home i desire. this house really hits it good, the location, the design, the colors, the sustainability, and the maddening desirability. Planted near that outdoor fireplace with a good book and a bottle of wine would suit me fine. and via designmilk

man, dang

The upholstery detail on these chairs makes me shiver like an excited puppy. Loves it.
designed by kranen/gille

don't piss off a cyclist

i like this bicycle defense kit that luke iseman sells
carrying this kit allows a cyclist to:

• Issue "citizen citations" with official-ish tickets.
• Label offending vehicles with an "I was a jerk to a cyclist" sticker.
• Introduce the risk of paint damage with a Jolly Rancher.
• Create certain coating cremation via DOT3 brake fluid.
• Make cars stink worse than their exhaust with a carefully-placed stink bomb.
• Throw a trusty bolt to dent offending traffic as it passes.
• Lock out loony drivers by filling their keyholes with super glue.
• Cut through tire valve stems with a utility blade.

via the always wonderful boingboing

trash kills

Sad story here. Albatross chicks on the midway atoll, dead due to our careless habits. Recycle, don't litter, don't be a damn fool. See the entire depressing set here. photos by chris jordan

m.i.a

haven't blogged in a bit. I feel like i'm juggling 13 chainsaws, a glance to the east causing a gaping wound. I've got more things going on than a row of light switches at a wal mart grand opening. As the baitshop rehab nears fruition I see myself with a bit more free time and hopefully the return of an ounce of sanity. we have windows and doors now, check it

underpants with a cause

you can choose your style and your cause, check it here

this is how you flash mob

Kentucky...vote for Rand Paul

If you live in the great state of kentucky get ready to vote for Rand Paul. Rand is the son of Ron Paul and has a straight head with a functioning brain just like his father. We really need to quit borrowing money and straighten out our deficit. Why are we borrowing money from china to give people cash for clunkers? Why are we borrowing money to give to people and say "go to the mall and spend it" how does that make us a richer country? Keep government small and let there be a free market approach to the economy.

i think i want an axe

one of my neighbors tells me that chopping wood is a therapeutic activity. I'm fairly certain he's dead wrong on that one, though owning an axe from the best made company and hangin' that bad boy on your wall certainly sounds therapeutic to me. I'm guessing any home intruder would be a bit apprehensive to pass beyond my doorway when he gets a glimpse of this bearded mad wielding my custom axe. Any visitors to my home may also fret at the thought of talkin too much trash as they gaze over at my sexy axe mounted on the wall. Get on over to best made co and get yourself a hand forged axe.

we want schlafly in a can

Schlafly is a craft brewery located in st. louis missouri whose beer I happen to be very fond of. Let it be known that I love beer, I love locally produced beer, and I love good beer that is locally produced. For those of us who drink copious amounts of beer and also recycle, the bottles tend to be a bit of a pain in the ass. My glass recyling bin tends to fill up faster than a firehose filling a dixie cup and the damn bin ends up weighing more than a bag of anvils. Those of us who enjoy the outdoors through hiking, canoeing, camping, et cetera will never bring along bottled libations. Bottles are outlawed on most waterways for good reasons, they are too damn heavy for your backpack and you sure as hell don't want to carry out the empties. Who wants their backpack full of a jingly, fragile, dripping, and burdensome mess? For those of you who suggest I drink less beer to solve this problem, well you're just plain wrong and quit making mediocre and depressing suggestions for a problem that is easily solved. CANS, cans will solve this problem. The ability to be smashed is a great attribute of aluminum cans and the smashing of said cans is actually fairly entertaining if you imagine that you are a giant indestructable landmine clearing machine. My aluminum recycling bin slowly eases its way to the top and never buldges beyond the lid or becomes insanely cumbersome between recyling runs. I know some people claim that canned beer tastes bad, those people are d-bags. Through a bit of research obtained by my own product testing and through information provided by can producers we know that canned beer is actually better insulated from air and light and that the metallic taste experienced with older cans is now absent due to a liner that does not allow contact between the aluminum and the beerski. I would assume that through the use of cans schlafly could use storage space more efficiently as the cans stack well and take up less space. The weight reduction gained through can packaging would also increase the per beer fuel mileage on the schlafly delivery trucks. So I think we need to start a local movement here, a movement that will persuade schlafly to put their beer in a can. Please send a message to derek@schlafly.com and let him know we want cans, and lets begin with the pale ale.

one recent wall hanging or art or trash, whatever you desire to call it by

"she got roots in the business"